There comes a point in life when you turn around and realize that you’ve been carrying extra baggage. Not emotional baggage but that big butt you’ve been lugging around for a long time. You fall on your knees and pray hard, “God, just make that thing disappear!!”. But right after that you drown all your sorrows in a big bar of Toblerone so that kind of cancels out your plea. 
The next morning you decide to put a full stop to your abysmal behavior. “That’s it”, you tell yourself. “No more scarfing down sweets in to this endless pit”. And then you go on a diet till it’s time for the next meal.
I have learnt that crash diets don’t work, fad diets don’t work, the Atkins diet doesn’t work even if all the celebrities are “doing it”, eating five “small” meals a day doesn’t work and depriving yourself of the most important food group – dessert, sure as hell does not work. So I have devised two new kinds of diet plan the “Eat Dessert First” plan aka “I-don’t-care-what-I-eat-but-please-let-me-have-dessert-first” plan and the “One Dessert, Two Spoons” plan.

This is a very simple plan. All you have to do is follow it literally. Eat dessert first before your main meal. That way your craving is satisfied and you eat only half of your main course. 
Disclaimer : This doesn’t apply if you insist on eating the entire meal even after you’ve had dessert. If you do so then you have a problem.

Again literal translation applies here. Just remember that both the spoons are not for you. You order one portion of dessert and share it with another person. The only problem that this plan presents is that both of you have to agree upon which dessert to order.
Disclaimer : This plan doesn’t apply if you order two different desserts and share both. That’s just being greedy and you deserve to be slapped if you do that, you fatty.
Tiramisu at Tuscana Pizzeria, Nungambakkam

Fried Ice Cream at Benjarong, Alwarpet
If you watched ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ then you will remember the line that Drew Barrymore’s cute ex-boyfriend guy tells that neurotic pixie haired girl in the end – “I’m/You’re the exception”, or something along those lines. Anyway, the same concept applies for dessert. Just like how every rule has an exception, every dessert has an exception. In this case it is ice cream. Ice cream is good. Never share your ice cream. If someone approaches you with his tongue sticking out while you are contemplating which side to attack your ice cream from, then punch him. It’s okay. He deserved it.
Bavarian chocolate ice cream at Baskin Robbins, Kilpauk

2 thoughts on “Don’t Leave Your Dessert In A Desert

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