America, Food, life, Men, The H, Weekends

Weekend Shenanigans: Steak, sickness and an allergy

I had a terrible Sunday, you guys. I woke up (with great difficulty) to a breakfast of Turkish sausage and eggs. And that’s where the nice part ends. Since I wanted to eat a steak for lunch I thought it would make sense if I exercised a bit before. So I decided very enthusiastically, to go swimming. On the way to the pool my stupid allergies flared up but I pushed it aside and swam anyway. Once my arms were the perfect shade of grey I decided it was time to get out. Note: Was still very excited about the prospect of steak.

We drove to the store to get my Kosher certified Angus beef steak only to find that it was the ONLY MEAT ITEM ON THE SHELF THAT WAS COMPLETELY SOLD OUT. How is that even possible? Did the Universe decide that it wants to mess with my cravings? ‘Cause I’ve been wanting this steak for over a week. I even bought organic Yukon Gold potatoes to roast AND I AM NOT AN ORGANIC PERSON.

Depressed and defeated I settled for Kosher Angus beef burgers. I put Jay to work on the new cast iron skillet we bought for the steak WHICH WE NEVER GOT TO EAT.

The beef burgers were good and I roasted the potatoes anyway because.. well, just because.

Note: Allergies decided to party IN MY NOSE and I could only breathe through like, half a nostril.

At this point I realized that I didn’t dry out my wet hair and I felt feverish.

SIDE BAR: I told Jay I am feeling “somewhat”, which is Zarine for sick. And he asked “somewhat as in?”. I said I feel hot and cold at the same time AND HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS MENTAL. Feeling hot and cold is a legit sickness. He just doesn’t know it yet.

Now added to my 99 problems my left heel decided it wanted to join the shindig and started hurting like a little *beep*.

I didn’t feel like eating the dinner I made (methi bhindi masala) so I roasted two corn(s)? Cobs? Slathered it with Amul butter and salt. I was tired from all this drama so decided to go to bed early. I kept tossing and turning throughout the night. I always sleep on my side but now when I do, I can only breathe through one nostril. So now I sleep on my back, this way I have access to half of each nostril. I was out of Zyrtec so Jay offered to buy me a huge pack in the morning. After he left for work and after I treated myself with a mango to cancel out the crappy Sunday I had, I took one pill. I didn’t know antihistamines were this strong because I literally went through the day in a haze. It is a wonder I didn’t fall asleep over my cooker while making lunch.

I just inhaled one third of a watermelon and am now waiting for 8 PM which is a respectable time to go to bed.

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Black and White, Men

Tip Your Hat

What is it about a top hat and a walking stick on a man that makes my heart skip a beat I do not know.



Case in point : 

The top hat was made for men like Fred Astaire who was every inch the perfect gentleman. A man with a top hat has style. The morning dress is SUCH an elegant and gentlemanly piece of clothing. Men should wear it ALL THE TIME. If the eighties is in vogue now, then people should work at BRINGING BACK THE TOP HAT!

Just LOOK at Fred Astaire. He makes me want to give up everything in the world and just dance with him. 


It’s sad how these days chivalry and gentlemanly behavior is just lost on men. Fred Astaire would NEVER be disrespectful to a woman. He is just too darn charming.
Well, and Humphrey Bogart too. 
Sometimes I wish I could just ‘time-travel’ myself back to the thirties and forties. Everything just seems so much more pleasant then. The gowns were gorgeous, people still called each other Mr. Blah Blah and Miss. So and So, men wore tailcoats and top hats and looked like Humphrey Bogart.
A girl can dream.

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Bhaarath Mahaan, Men

Bleeding Blue. 100%

I’m not a die hard cricket fan. In fact, I don’t think I even know all of the rules. I know six, four, out, not out, lbw, wicket, catch, no catch, etc etc but my heart is truly filled with joy now that India has won the World Cup!

Winning the India/Pakistan semis was brilliant. But the media shouldn’t have created THAT much hype about it. I mean, yeah I know its very exciting. It truly is. But they made it seem like one battle.

Seeing the cup being lifted by Sachin in my generation is truly incredible. This picture will be etched in our minds forever. So now India will not worry about winning for the next twenty eight years ’cause people will still keep talking about the 2nd of April, 2011 when the entire country erupted just out of sheer happiness.

Thank God India won. Now we can gloat about it for many many years to come. Else we’d have to hear stories about how we came THIS close to winning the World Cup and lost and some stories never get old.

Also, how absolutely charming is Virat Kholi! Ah.. he just makes my heart melt!

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books, Men

Edward Vs Edward

The first time I read Twilight was way before the madness that followed it. I recall being in High School at that time. One day my friend Mallu Girl calls me and goes “OMGG Zaaa!! You should soooo read this book called Twilight! Its awesome!”.

Me: “What’s it about?”.

MG: “Its about this girl who falls in love with a vampire and OMG its sooooo good”.

And that was the day I passed my judgment on Twilight and the three other books that followed it. I’ll admit that even I, although cynical, read all the four parts at least once. What was Stephanie Mayer smoking while she wrote it I don’t know. This book has got to be the single most dumbest book that I have ever read.

Okay, maybe half way through I did have a teensy crush on Edward Cullen (which girl didn’t). But the dude was too demanding and was way too much in love with Bella. The desperation she had for becoming a vampire was a little too umm.. desperate.

God must really hate us because right after the book came out, the rights for the movie was bought.

WHY WOULD ANY SANE PERSON WANT TO MAKE A MOVIE ON TWILIGHT?????

And good for us the movie turned out to be cheaply made with pathetic dialogues and even worse direction. They picked Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart to play the roles of Edward and Bella. Yes, these two look good separately but together they have awful chemistry.

PLAIN AWFUL.

If you haven’t seen the movie yet I beg you too. I promise you tears of laughter. How I wish Sudish Kamath had reviewed this movie.
But even Twilight is too crappy for him to review it.

Now the other Edward, the Edward that I know, is a perfect gentleman. Not Adonis looking like Edward Cullen. In fact, not attractive at all. Not desperate like the Cullen. Not a foolish git. Or a possessive idiot.

But a gentleman, not the least bit attractive. With education and class present in every fiber of his being. Granted he made a few bad calls here and there but he was a man with respect.

Edward Rochester from Jane Eyre.

While asinine Edward Cullen wanted to kill himself because he “thought” or “saw” or “dreamt” or whatever it is that vampires do these days, that Bella was dead, he was prepared to die. Not by killing himself, vampires are immortal you see. But by going to the chief vampire people and asking them to kill him. Something like a planned suicide if you will.

Obviously he doesn’t get killed. He is saved and yadda yadda yadda. What would be the point of the next two books if Edward died?

Now coming to Mr.Rochester, when Jane left him, for months he never knew if she was dead or alive. If you read the book you will know the wonderful twist after this chapter. So while he did not about Jane’s whereabouts he waited for years and years just hoping that she would come back to him. He was not a nut job like the above mentioned Edward. He waited for her and knew she would come back when she gained her own respect.

Eventually she did come back. But that was years later and Mr.Rochester was blind for years prior to that. Yet he waited knowing that one day his Jane would come back. Although he was blind he did not give up hope or decide to ruin himself. He continued to live, hard it may have been, but he survived. And that’s what matters.

Now tell me, if you were given a choice between the two Edwards who would you choose? Pale, partially demented Edward Cullen? Or sane, wonderful Mr.Edward Rochester?

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Eww Stuff, Men

Eww. Eww. Eww. Eww.

Girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice.
And boys????

Ask any girl about her perfect guy or how she wants her future husband to be and she’ll say “Oh he has to be tall and cute/hot and sweet and good looking and charming and should buy me loads of gifts and should listen to everything I have to say yadda, yadda, yadda.

Clean and hygienic never pops up in the list.

And that is the TOP on mine.
The guy just HAS to be clean. And not obsessive-compulsive-cleaning=disorder clean but normal-decent-human level of cleanliness: cut nails, clean feet, no B.O, groomed hair and beard (note: beard, MUST.) and overall average cleanliness.

In my 19 years of walking this planet I have seen the most disgusting, repulsive, ugly, dirty male feet EVER. Overgrown, dirt-ridden toe nails are such a turn-off. I feel like personally giving those guys a pedicure just to save others from seeing such a disgusting sight. And icky, greasy, oily hair.. Don’t even get me started.

There are guys who think that if they dress like models, spray on some bloody so-called perfume that apparently attracts women to them but thankfully misfires and have a hot ride get their work done. Now if you look lower and lower till you reach the smelly feet you will find what you’re looking for.

Seriously guys, have you heard of something called ‘soap and water’? Or maybe ‘nail cutter’? Yeah, they could be your best friend if only you gave them a chance.

Seriously.

Seriously.

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