Girl : “Kelly, do you know what I’m going to get you for Christmas?”
Kelly : “What?”
Girl : “A backbone.”
“I don’t think we’d have a good marriage if I told him everything. I’m his only morale booster”
Girl leaving Pinkberry with a large bowl of yogurt and toppings : “You know, this is more nutritious than a cupcake.”
Mom (trying on purple leather ballerinas) : How do these look, Kevin?
Son : They look like someone had to kill a snake for you to wear that.
Mom flings away the shoes and walks out in a huff.
Girl 1: “Oh, sorry. Excuse me.”
Girl 2: “Hey! I know you!!”
Girl 1: “I’m sorry. I don’t kn…”
Girl 2: “Yeah, we stalked you last night!”
Maybe In Madras 