PSA: This is a public service announcement requesting for smartass comebacks.
Have you guys ever been in a situation where someone says something mean to you and your mouth is open but your brain doesn’t act fast enough to come up with a smart retort but you still open your mouth and its just… air.
I’ve been in this situation far too many times than I’d like to admit. Growing up with an older brother we’d always have a battle of words and I would have the worst comebacks.
Brother: “God Zarine, you’re so fat! You’re like the Playstation game – Little Fat Princess!!”
Me: “Shut up! You’re a little fat princess!!”
Seriously, thats the best I can do. Call me a name and I will call you the SAME name, Say something meant to me and I will just say, ” You…”
Another scenario is where I think of a comeback two days after the insult has been thrown at me. So its like the usual routine – wake up, brush teeth, have breakfast, take a shower and then KABOOM! I got it! I have a comeback now, 48 hours later, and it doesn’t even matter anymore.
I’d really like to change this aspect in my life, guys. I don’t want to get burned anymore. I’ve been burnt so much that I’m blackened toast (Haha! Sorry, had to that, please don’t go).
So please, share your best comebacks, people!
Maybe In Madras 
1. …..oh yeah!?? Your mom……..
2. Takes one to know one;)
3. _____ called & wants ______ back!
4. Shush!!!
5. I’m sorry did you say something….?
6. Nobody likes a hater.
Kay errthing listed sounds middle schooly! Lol
You are too cute for comebacks! Most days I still feel like I’m in middle school! :/
Gosh! We are ditto Zarine! I suffer from ‘I-will-come-up-with-comebacks-2-days-post-insult-while-brushing-teeth’ syndrome too. I often remind myself that the next time when someone insults me or invite themselves into my personal life I ll give back nicely, but sadly, it just never happens.
So there is no way I have any right to offer one-liners to you!
I am trying so hard to change that! Really wish I could think up some apt one liners to give back!
For some 16 years, the witty rejoinders that primarily featured in my brother’s and my arguments were “Your head!” and “YOUR head!”, because insulting our moms would have been counter-productive :3
Hahaa! I do the same with the husband, instead I say “Your face!”
I’ve brotherS and more than a dozen male cousins. Growing up they’d constant pick on me. Even now in fact! When will it ever end?? Comebacks aren’t really my forte unless I know the ‘opponent’ fairly well. But even then, I still suck at them!
But err… if he’s single you can be like ‘No wonder you don’t have a girl in your life. They all can’t stand you as much as me!’
Or just keep a very straight face when he says something and after a few secs go ‘I’m sorry? I didn’t realise that was supposed to be funny.’
I used different versions of the above comebacks but it never works! I think when it comes to my brother, he knows to push the right buttons lol!!
I’m the same as you… I think of comeback later on when I’m relaying the whole situation back to my husband or friends. Nowadays to buy myself time I just respond by, ” Really?!” or “did you really just say that, loser?” or “is that really the best that you can come up with?”
Hopefully by the time the person has responded I have come up with a better response hahaha
I count on that too! But then before I know it its my turn again and I just try to change the topic!!
Hey! I have nominated you for the Liebster Award! Thanks for being such a fun writer! Love this space… :)
Check this out…. http://asplashofmylife.wordpress.com/2014/05/12/329/
Heyy! Thanks so much! I accept it gladly! :)
Is profanity acceptable? Haha. I never had a brother so I’d be extremely offended if he called me fat. Well if you’re going for Playstation comebacks, I’d just say: “speaking of PS, we’re going to get the *latest version of PS console* next week. Want to come over?”
Also memorise the names of cool games that you might buy. Boys are dumb.
Boys ARE dumb! Took me a while to realize that truth!