Posted on by Zarine Mohideen · 4 Comments

Star Wars Episode 4 – A New Hope

There are some movies that, no matter how old they are, find an almost eternal place in pop culture. Star Wars is one such movie. I have heard a million times over about the awesome-ness that is Star Wars through a cousin and also through references in various TV series and movies.

Case in point:

1. F.R.I.E.N.D.S : The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy.
2. How I Met Your Mother : Barney’s Storm Trooper, Ted Moseby’s frequent OD’ing on Star Wars trivia.
3. That 70s Show : Eric Foreman: “I feel like I’m Luke Skywalker, you know”.
Eric Foreman : “I’m here to rescue you!”
And of course, his frequent Luke Skywalker moments.

So I took the task upon myself and decided to watch Star Wars from the beginning. There are many different ways of watching the movies. The top two being in chronological order or episode wise.

I decided to watch it in chronological order.

STAR WARS (1977)
Director : George Lucas

Star Wars is a typical case of good vs evil. In the context of this particular galaxy, far far away, its the dark side vs the umm bright side? Yes. So what I understand from the movie is that Darth Vader and his evil buddies want to take over the galaxy and destroy the revolution that is out to kill them. Through some chance of luck, the fate of the galaxy lies in the hands of Luke Skywalker, an almost pre-pubescent looking Jedi wannabe.

Luke Skywalker lives and works with his uncle Owen who lies to him about his father’s death and this Obi-Wan Kenobi person. Instead, he could have told Luke the truth and saved himself from being murdered by the Storm Troopers. But I guess he wanted Luke to slog in his farm more.
Stupid uncle Owen.

So, as of now Luke’s relatives are dead and all he is left with is Obi-Wan Kenobi, this golden robot whose name I do not know and R2 which is another mini robot that reminds me of Wall-e. Now Princess Leia, before being captured by Darth Vader’s minions fed some super secret design blah blah Death Star blah blah into the chip of R2. Now since the the R2 hangs out with Luke, the Storm Troopers are after him and he has to go destroy the Death Star. Coming to think of it, it sounds a bit like Frodo Baggins and the ring and how the task of destroying the ring in Mount Doom is upon him.
Rip off!
Okay, too soon to judge.

Now this Obi Wan Kenobi is kind of like what Gandalf was to Frodo. You know, mentor, guide, faith restorer, etc etc. So now Obi Wan needs to get Luke into a space ship type of thing so he gets in touch with Han Solo, a very young Harrison Ford with a lot of chest hair. Han Solo’s best bud is Chewbacca, which is a weird bear like animal that keeps howling. Actually its something like a cross between a bear and King Kong. So now everybody is aboard the Millennium Falcon, Han Solo’s ship. Personally, I think the Millennium Falcon is such a cool name.

As they are flying in outer space, Darth Vader’s space station, Death Star has some kind of magnetic field that attracts the Millennium Falcon and it ends up right inside Darth Vader’s lair. Somehow they escape without being seen and Obi Wan goes to deactivate the magnetic field thing. Meanwhile, Luke, who has a huge crush on Leia finds that she is in the dungeons and sets out with Solo to bust her out. It is a disappointment that in the fights that followed Luke uses the Storm Trooper’s gun instead on the Lightsaber. So Luke goes to Leia’s prison cell and is all, “I’m Luke Skywalker, I’m here to rescue you!” (I just have to say, Eric Foreman says this line way better).


Note: Princess Leia’s one of a kind hair style and Harrison Ford’s trademark emotion.

Anyways, as Luke and his entourage are running to the Millennium Falcon to escape he sees Darth Vader in a duel with Obi Wan. It looks like Obi Wan is killed but he isn’t, he just disappears. Again, this is somewhat similar to the part in Lord Of The Rings – The Fellowship Of The Rings where at the bridge of Moria we think Gandalf is killed by a Balrog but he returns in The Two Towers. I believe Obi Wan will return in The Empire Strikes Back.

Luke and his friends now return back to what I assume is Princess Leia’s planet because she is very well received there. The design blah blah of the Death Star is studied and all the Jedi Knights including Luke, who has successfully made it, prepare to blow up Darth Vader’s home sweet home.

Around six ships are sent in and obviously all the pilots get killed except Luke. Duh. Darth Vader escapes from the Death Star and Luke manages to blow it up. He returns back super happy and super sweaty. The Princess awards both Luke and Han Solo what I think are medals for bravery. Although Luke has a crush on Leia I think Han Solo might have a thing for her too.
Chewbacca howls.
Credits roll.
The End.

This movie exceeded my expectations. I though it would be really boring and mind numbing but it was fun and it kinda sticks to you even if you don’t love it all that much. One thing I really do love is the music when the essay type thing rolls in space.

And Ooooh! Lightsabers!! I would become a Jedi Knight in a jiffy if I could have one of those bad boys.

Favorite Quotes:

Darth Vader: Obi-wan *is* here. The Force is with him.

Darth Vader: I’ve been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now *I* am the master.
Obi-Wan: Only a master of evil, Darth.

Princess Leia: Someone has to save our skins. Into the garbage chute, fly boy.

Obi-Wan: Use the Force, Luke.

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen · 6 Comments

Cynophobia Or Why I Hate Dogs

I was eight years old when the “incident” occurred. Up until then, I was a normal eight year old doing whatever it is that eight year olds do. One evening (which will remain fresh in my memory forever) I was walking down the street along with my brother and my mother to drop my cousins off at an auto stand.

There I was, happily skipping with not a care in the world wearing my fire engine red tights and t-shirt. Quite the ensemble, I must say.

And that’s when IT happened.

Out of nowhere two enormous black dogs come running towards me. In a flash of a second they both pounced on me. One at the front and the other at the back. The dog in the front had its filthy disgusting paws on my shoulders and it stood almost half a foot taller than me. The dog at the back, I can only assume fancied my fire engine red tights because the stupid mongrel started pulling them down!

I screamed for dear life. God bless those laborers who came running to my rescue.

I never managed to get that incident out of my head. Who could?! That day I was scarred for life and since then I have never been able to look a dog in the eye.

If there is a dog in the vicinity I get jittery, my heart starts pounding, I start screaming, my hands automatically claw whatever it is that I’m holding and if I’m standing next to you I will push you in front of me for protection. If a dog starts barking I feel it’s barking at me. If I happen to cross a dog by some miracle, I turn around a million times just to make sure the dog isn’t following me or sniffing my ankle. This is what is called cynophobia, the fear of dogs

With the kind of past I’ve had when it comes to dogs it isn’t surprising that I feel all these things. Any normal person (I hope) will understand this. But not my friends or my family. They find it extremely funny. They’re always saying “Oh bring the dog near Zarine. Let’s see what she does!”. Like they don’t know what I’ll do. And my brother’s all time favorite – “Zarine look! Dog!”, which is almost always followed by pushing me near it.

Unfortunately for me this fear also lead me to ailurophobia which is the fear of cats. I pretty much react the same way to them as I do to dogs. It isn’t easy dealing with these phobias when my best friend loves dogs and the other owns two cats. I have been known for my ‘running out of the room when I see a cat’ and ‘jumping on the sofa when the cat brushes its tail against my toe’ performances.

One day my wonderful cat loving friend who has a heart of gold decided that she wanted to get rid of my phobia. So she picked up her cat and thrust it into my face. I did what I always do. But this time there were consequences. In order to save myself from the wrath of the cat I pushed the wheeled chair against the wall so badly that I tumbled off it, broke the chair and managed to bang my head on the wall all in a span of a few seconds.

My friends find this alarmingly funny.
I don’t. And frankly its quite understandable why. People think its madness to be afraid of cats. It isn’t mad. Everyone is afraid of something! Some are even afraid of the dark and I find that stupid but I’m not judging. Maybe the dark is to them what cats and dogs are to me.

Contrary to popular belief I’m not afraid of ALL animals, Nik. Its just that dogs and cats make me neurotic and insane. I have this incessant fear that they want to maul off my face. And that is a picture I cannot get out of my head.

So I’m going to say this as publicly as I possibly can:
I HATE CATS AND I FRIGGIN HATE DOGS.

I acknowledge them because they are all God’s creatures and I respect them for that. But that’s where I draw the line.

PS:

Just a small clarification, I like them on TV like in Planet’s Funniest Animals (The dog chasing its own tail is classic!). But not in real life.

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen · 2 Comments

Child Abuse

I came across a news article today where the 13 year old daughter of labor workers was raped by her employer in Gujarat. Her parents found out that she was 2 months pregnant and decided to abort the fetus. The doctor refused on the grounds that the girl was a minor. The case was taken to a local court where their plea for abortion was denied. Her mother decided to take this case to the Gujarat High Court where the hospital was instructed to give this girl a thorough medical examination.

This child on the brink of adolescence is forced to carry and look after another child through no choice of hers. Why hasn’t legal action been taken against the employer? Is it because he is of a higher status than the victim? Isn’t equality and justice for all?

What kind of a man would impregnate a teenage girl? Some cultures say that it is the duty of the girl to be calm, lest she stirs the animalistic desires within the man.
This kind of belief is utter BS.

If the man cannot control his desires and feels the need to harass and molest a 13 year old girl who has just reached maturity, there is no point of blaming the girl. This girl who has just crossed puberty and is still trying to understand her body, now finds herself carrying a child that was created out of hatred and malice. How is she expected to keep a child who’s presence would remind her of unpleasant things?

In a study conducted in 2007 it was noted that out of the forty million Indian children, twenty million children faced child abuse or molestation. Most of the perpetrators were know to the children or were family members, cousins or uncles.

This is a despicable act. While most offenders are known to the family and the child, the boy/girl finds it difficult to understand what went wrong and hence hesitate to tell the elders.

Indian society is made up of a bunch of hypocrites. Half the parents don’t believe their kids when their child tells them the problem. They prefer to ignore it and act like it never happened. They don’t want to take any action against the offenders because they may be close “relatives” or “uncles”. Besmirching both their names in public is, according to them, shameful. It doesn’t matter that the child has been scared for a life or the possibility of psychological disorders is high. The parents do not want to wash their dirty linen in public even if it means saving the child and believing her.

Yet they act like everything is fine and dandy when they very well know that it isn’t. I find it hard to understand how the offenders go to bed every night and wake up every morning, continuing to live their life after they have robbed the child of the one thing that can never be given back – innocence.

Most Indian families are this way. Hypocritical and judgmental. They would do anything to protect the “Indian families are families with values” tag that the world has given us.

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen · 1 Comment

CSK Ku Whistle Podu!

This IPL season I never followed a single match. But when Chennai Super Kings qualified for the finals I decided that I would watch my first IPL 2010 match. And boy, was it worth it!

Playing against the Mumbai Indians, the match took the animosity between the south and north Indians to another level! India may be united and all that jazz but the feeling of hatred or rather, strong dislike between the north and south Indians will never subside.

In today’s match the Mumbaikars showed poor spirit exiting the stadium when they realized that MI was loosing. This just goes on to show how rude and inconsiderate they are considering they are the host city.

Anyways, all that matters is CSK won!!

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen · 5 Comments

Summer Lovin’

Summer’s here.
Actually its been here for quite a while.

You can recognize its presence when you feel the heat beating down upon your back and casting its hot, almost fire like self on your head. If you’re a baldie then I pity you.

Summers are characterized by sweat, sweat, sweat, stink and of never ending complaints. People should realize that talking about it won’t make it all go away. Every year the Meteorological Department says that its the ‘Worst Summer So Far’.

Really?

You take us for a bunch of imbeciles? Telling us things we already knew even before you did.

This summer is extra stinky. Thanks to Shashi Tharoor and the Indian Premier Losers. The stench that fills the air is the smell of corruption that India very famous for. Everybody knew something was happening behind the closed doors. Now that its all out in the open no one is the least bit surprised.

We expected the expected.
Not the unexpected.

Isn’t this summer turning out to be just the perfect Indian summer ever?!

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen

THIS IS UNBEARABLE.
HAVING BROUGHT THIS UPON MYSELF, I HAVE NO RIGHTS TO COMPLAIN.

BUT STILL..

I WANT TO QUIT.
AND I DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE LAKHS OF RUPEES INVESTED.
IT’S GOING TO BE A BLOODY WASTE ANYWAY.

TAKE MY ADVICE-

DO NOT OPT FOR ENGINEERING.

IT SUCKS THE FUN OUT OF EVERYTHING.

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen

KFC on Saturday nights is a full house.

Let me rephrase that.

KFC on Saturdays is an over full house.

—

Us Indians are still getting used to the ‘modern’ things. Thanks to globalization there is no deficiency of jobs. Everyone is able to afford a ten grand phone or a car (even if it does look like a mini matchbox and costs only a lakh). Families now go on annual vacations to exotic international destinations. We are readily embracing all this new found luxuries.

While the younger generation is easily adapting to these changes, the older generation takes a while to get accustomed to all the new-ness.

Example:

KFC Guy: “Sir is this for dine in or take away?”
Middle aged man: “Uhh no no.. not here”.
KFC guy: “Sir?”
Middle age guy: “Yes it is for take off.”
KFC guy: “Oh take away?”
Middle aged man: “yes yes take away”.

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen

Exams are round the corner and here I am yet to start studying! Study holidays are when my creative juices flow over time and I spend all my time in thinking and planning on things to do during the holidays.

Summer holidays as a kid used to be so much fun. Almost two months of uninterrupted merry-making. When school ended for summer I used to come home running, excitement literally bouncing off me. We used to have a loft in my old house, which was probably my mother’s favorite place. It contained all the junk we collected over the years and my suitcase of random toys and crap that I picked up. I’m now ashamed to admit that I was a big time Barbie addict.

Yes, I had Barbie, Skipper and Kelly too!

I used to spend the entire summer dressing and redressing my dolls and being my brother’s guinea pig. Evenings were spent playing ‘lock and key’ and ‘chain’ with the kids in my apartment. Late, late breakfasts and special lunches everyday. The tv would be on 24 hours and no one complained. And when my brother joined the football team in school he used to practice on me. We used to play one on one football.

No points for guessing who won.

As I grew up I started to play quite a few games. I spent almost three summers playing tennis at a local school. Most of my memories from summer are from there. Then it was time for swimming. I spent the next three to four summers swimming. Summers were so blissful and so carefree. Everything was relaxed. The weather was never this terrible. All through summer we just had fun and ate ice creams and lived without a care.

Ever since I entered college, semester exams take place during peak summer, exactly when schools close. And the one month holiday is just enough to sleep and get up and watch movies. And worrying about the results, of course.

I would give anything to rewind my life back to the days when everything was perfect. Now its all about the future. Everyone is busy with their lives. Everyone wants to get ahead. Which is good. Yes, we have to look towards the future and work for it. But does this mean we can forget our past and our friends just because we found something that’s remotely better?

At this point in life everyone is saving their own ass. We have this one year to make or break and its all about the future. Careers, families and self. No time to think. No time to stop and stare. Everything is accelerated. When everything is moving super fast I don’t want to be the one left back and watching all this happen in front of me. I want to be focused and pumped up to. But its hard to when your heart longs for the past, longs for the childish smiles and the atmosphere of security and radiance.

Its hard to hope when I’ve lost friends who promised to be there.
It’s hard when I’ve given up so much of myself without realizing.
It’s hard when I cannot be the person I want to be.
It’s hard living a monotonous life when I know and feel in my veins that I’m made for greater things.

It’s hard when I wake up every day regretting the decisions that I made.