I felt completely unlike myself yesterday so today I decided to remedy that feeling. If there is one thing I’ve learnt it’s that sitting with poopy emotions will only make you feel more like poop. Something has to change immediately to not dwell in the poopiness of the situation. So this morning after dropping my son at sunday school I drove to a coffee shop and ordered a chocolate cake, a coffee and croissant at 10 am and read my book there for 2 hours. It was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself lately. All my time is spent constantly doing things, working, cooking, thinking about cooking, planning. cleaning, actively avoiding cleaning but not, I feel like I’m constantly giving so much of my self and my energy away. This leaves me feeling so empty and then what fills this emptiness is all negative thoughts. So to finally just sit and do one activity that I loved felt like I was pouring back into myself. In order for this to work I actively visualize all this and so I truly felt like as if someone (me) had poured good juju back into me. Of course when I came home later on I had to cook/meal prep for two hours. But that’s okay, future me will thank me later.
I look forward to writing these every day. It feels like a comforting way to bookend my day, like I am talking to an old friend. I love it. Also I know my actual old friends are here so hi guys.