The Wedding Philosopher

Playing By The Rules

Any event that signifies something big happening in our life is marked with certain customs. Customs that may not necessarily make sense but has to be followed as it was many years ago. We ignore The Rules of The Book to let social, familial and traditional rituals take center stage. We fail to see the fine line that divides the two and are blinded by the shadow we cast over The Rules. Things would be easier and hassle free if everyone just followed The Rules, the sunnah, that was given to us. Man made rules are tiring and do not make sense. But we feel that we are traitors if we don’t follow the customs of our forefathers.

The worst thing about man made rules is that The Rules aren’t defined. It changes from person to place. Sometimes The Rules are also conveniently over looked. Basically, they are called The Rules while they should be called Rules That Can Be Manipulated According To Whims and Fancies. Following these rules we are going down the dark ages. What is worse is we are making things more difficult than they need to be. But Ma says no, this is how it is. Everybody did these things and so should you. “Why?”, I ask her. “Because you have to.”, she says. I know that isn’t what I want to hear but I just shut up.

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The Wedding Philosopher

Rule # 4

You will look at the familiar and cry. The thought of moving on to new territories will terrify you. The unfamiliar will seem like a hurdle too big to cross. When you reach this point you will start to reevaluate your decisions and will arrive at the chance you took. The chance you took listening to your heart. And you will pray with every breath of your being that this will be worth it.
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life lessons, The Wedding Philosopher

The past few days have been a blur. I keep saying everything is happenning fast but really, everything is happenning in LIGHTNING SPEED. It has taken me a while to comprehend it. I seem to have got my head around it but I still cannot believe that it is happening although, I am extremely happy that it is.

I try to keep recollecting what happened these few days but my memory fails me. I don’t seem to have registered everything. Memory is a very fickle thing. I wan to remember everything, the good and the bad. The feel of my new silk saree, the tears that would just not stop, the mouthfulls of sugar that I just wanted to spit out and this werid but good feeling in my gut. I want to remember everything and maybe that is selfish of me. My mind does not have this capacity. I look at pictures and I think “Why was I smiling?”. I can’t seem to remember why the photo warranted that particular expresssion.

This scares me. Now I want to savour every moment, remember every action. I want to store it all in a little cupboard in my head. And when I open it I want to the smell of the garland, the Elie Saab that I sprayed all over my dress. I want to remember why I cried. I want to know why I smiled my widest with certain people and looked morose with others. I want to remember that moment when the photographer asked me if I wanted to hide the sugar. I want to remember the taste of the awful banana milkshake. And I really want to remember the taste of the biriyani but I had so little that it is just impossible.

I am trying to take as many mental photographs as I can. I am trying to remember the feelings and the emotions. I want to collect all these and store it all away in that little cupboard and come back to it in my own sweet time. Reminiscing is a weird feeling. Recollecting the good can make your day so much brighter. But the bad and the bitter should never see the light of day. Reminiscing the bad just brings back all these feelings and I remind myself why I swore never to think about it again. Having a walking, talking reminder does not help. But I’ve become an expert in blocking out the bad, in muting out the constant drone and in blinding out the evil.

So right now is all about collecting. Thoughts, feelings and words to store away in that little cupboard inside my head.

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The Wedding Philosopher

Rule # 2

Every bride needs to be able to differentiate between her dreams and reality. It is very important to have a firm grip on reality and not live in the clouds. She needs to know that what her mind’s eye visualizes and what her real eyes see are two entirely different things. She might have an image of a pinkish, peachish dress but what she sees is a pinkish, coralish dress. It may not work in the wedding of her imagination but it has to in the wedding of her reality. So she has to learn to make do and not be a fusspot about it because, let’s be serious, nobody likes a fusspot.
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The Wedding Philosopher

Rule #1

The first thing you need to know while planning your wedding is that the wedding is not about you. When a friend told me this few months back I laughed it off. Now, I’m experiencing it. There are a hundred and one things to be taken care of, and a million and one people to please. What you really want is out of the question. I know it sounds drastically unromantic. But it is what it is. The sooner you get your head around it the lesser is the heartbreak.
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