Posted on by Zarine Mohideen · 2 Comments

31

Finally, 31st January. I’m amazed that I actually kept up and managed to post something every day. I may have cheated by scheduling posts but that’s allowed. It was a challenge finding time and a topic to write about. But I would like to thank Life for constantly keeping me entertained and giving me inspiration to write.

Today I overcame my fear of self waxing. I am so proud of myself. I managed to do so without ripping off my skin or crying. It takes guts to put yourself through self inflicting pain. It doesn’t hurt as much when Nepalese Aunty rips it off without any consideration for your well being. But when you have to do it on yourself the pain is magnified. I flinched a bit but it didn’t hurt as much as I imagined it would.

So far this year hasn’t been that managed. Managed to overcome a fear by January 31st, not bad at all.

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen · 6 Comments

Is it clean or is it green?

Today I put a bunch of clothes in the washer. Actually, I put too many clothes inside and the washer stopped working. So I took out half the amount of clothes and a red dress whose colour I know for a fact runs. I put two cycle of clothes in the washer. I thought I was smart, taking out the red dress and all. I opened the washer and the clothes looked alright to me. I put them in the drier, happy that I had accomplished this task without any major blunders.

Fourty minutes later the drier beeped. I opened the drier and found that the green color from some random piece of clothing had managed to run. A few of my clothes had grey/green streaks all over and my white t shirt was white no more. I’ve now learnt my lessons : two loads in the washer, one for color and one for white clothes. Also, don’t think you are smarter than the washer.

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen

Thank you.

There are times when I forget to be thankful. I go long periods without realizing the small mercies in life that I should be thankful for. I just continue to live my life, happy in my own bubble when it suddenly hits me that I haven’t thanked Him for anything. I wake up every morning assuming this how it is going to be every day. I don’t realize that I may not wake up one day. I have food and water at my disposal. I don’t think twice about turning on the heat when I feel cold. I take it all for granted when suddenly it hits me – all this could be taken away from me at any second. I see homeless people outside my house wrapped up in what little clothes they can find, braving the cold and my heart is humbled and my eyes fill with tears. I silently whisper a prayer to Him to protect the people who don’t have much. I thank Him for giving me everything I need and more. For giving me a warm and comfortable house, for family that loves me no matter what, for a husband who is kind and for my life as a whole. I’m thankful to be alive today, that I can go out and feel the wind. I’m thankful to Him for keeping me safe and happy. I hope to become a better person, to be more thankful, to be more faithful to Him for He has made my life a wonderful one. Thank you, for every single blessing.

 

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen

Rasam.

I’ve been sick the past couple of days. The flu has been doing the rounds and I didn’t want to catch it, so I went to the two most public germ filled areas I could think of : the mall and the movies. Yup, I was dying to get all coughed up. Now I have some coughing, sneezing and a runny nose. Ever since then I’ve been craving some nice home cooking. I Googled ‘How to make rasam’ and stumbled up on a fabulous Tam Bram pepper rasam recipe. Having sneezed four and a half times in a row, I just had to have it. So I made mashed rice and the most peppery pepper rasam for lunch. Ah, so yummy! I can feel my throat getting better already. Rasam is just the best.

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen

Tag! You’re it.

RM tagged everyone doing the blog marathon to do the year end tag. I’ve read the other blogger’s tag so here goes mine.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’ve never done before?

Umm.. I got married.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolution, and will you make more for next?

I didn’t have any resolutions for last year but I did manage to lose some weight that I had been carrying. So I was happy for that. I have made a few resolutions for this year. But gotta wait till the end of the year to see if I keep them. I hope I do though.

3. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

September 2nd, the day I got married and the weekend I went to New York.

4. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Achievements? I don’t think I had any.

5. What was your biggest failure?

My biggest failure was when I didn’t push more for what I wanted to do after college. I regret for not fighting harder.

6. Did you suffer illness?

Apart from the nasty cold and cough nothing much and Alhamdulillah (thanks to God) for that.

7. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My behavior, mostly and my parents at times.

8. Where did most of your money go?

Wedding clothes shopping.

9. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

a) Visiting New York and going to  The Met finally.

b) Universal Studios, LA

c) My birthday.  I get excited about this every year.

10) What song will always remind you of 2012?

Gangam Style for sure. I listened to it about a hundred times.

11) Compared to this time last year year are you happier or sadder?

Happier. Much happier.

12) What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spending time with family and friends, reading and writing.

13) What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I was less stuck up.

14) Did you fall in love in 2012?

Oh yes.

15) What/Who was your greatest musical discovery?

Umm.. Muse, I think.

16) What did you want and get?

I wanted a change and I’m glad I got it.

17) What did you want and not get?

Always want a Chanel bag. Will get myself one in the future and that’s a promise I make to myself.

18) What was your favorite film of this year?

I really liked Looper.. and Django. Oh and English Vinglish.

19) What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?

I wore a new dress and ate pizza. I was 23.

20)What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

This year was a big cake. If I had to have the cherry on top I would say.. ah I cant’ think of anything! This year was the cherry on top! (Thank God a million times.)

21) What kept you sane?

Having the hope that things will get better.

22) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012?

Everything happens for a reason.

23) Which new places did you visit in 2012?

So many! New York, Boston, LA and San Francisco. Had an amazing time in every place.

24) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Tonight, we are young.

So let’s set the world on fire.

We can burn brighter

Than the sun.

25) Tag some bloggers whose answers you would love to read.

I tag YOU.

And Dodeja.

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen · 4 Comments

Hold My Hand

photo

It was our four month anniversary yesterday. I remembered this only today afternoon. I can’t believe its only been four months since we got hitched. For some reason it seems like it’s been a lifetime. I have settled in very comfortably, I must say. Playing the role of ‘wife’ was a little hard on me at first but I managed to gently nudge myself in. Some days it is hard. I do feel like throwing my hands in the air and giving up. But on most days it is a pretty good life, one that I am so thankful for. Sometimes I even think if this is what I wanted, if this is what I deserved. But all these questions disappear when I see the answer walk in through that door at six in the evening. And that makes me happy. Happier than I’ve ever been in a long, long time
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“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”

– Oscar Wilde

Isn’t this what everyone fears? To think like another person, breathe in their ideas and eventually lose sight of who you really are. I’ve been there. Waking up in the morning not feeling the least bit like yourself. Lying to yourself repeatedly. Unable to distinguish between your thoughts and convincing yourself every day that you were meant to be here, in the present. Absorbing yourself in to someone else is probably the worst thing you can do to kill your soul. Recovering from that is hell. Even when you do come out of the cage you keep doubting, is this what you want or is this what they want you to want. It is hard to break away. But you should try. You should always try.

 

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen

BIRIYANI. Now do I have your attention?

Eid. Always synonymous with biriyani, to me, Eid equals new dress. It doesn’t matter if I get a new dress every single day of the year, the Eid dress is the most important and should kick all other dress’ ass. This year I found the perfect dress. But then again, I intend on finding the perfect dress every year.So all the duties on Eid have been done; wear new dress – check, go for Eid prayer – check, collect Eidi from unsuspecting adults – check, get shouted at by mother for not helping – check, stuff face with biriyani – check, distribute biriyani to friends like an MLA collecting votes – check.

Once all the duties have been done, regular programming resumes. It doesn’t matter that we fasted for thirty days and controlled our nafs (desires) ’cause the next day our body wants three meals a day plus snacks. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that a good portion of Ramadan revolves around food. Either making, eating or distributing food. Ramadan teaches you to respect food and not sneer at it if it is something you dislike. It teaches you to make do with what is available when you wake up late for suhoor. The Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) taught us to never say anything bad about the food even if you don’t like it. Waking up late for suhoor to eat the leftovers is a very humbling experience. It makes you think of all those who do not have a morsel to eat and have to keep suhoor with just a date or a sip of water whilst we waste plates of food. So the next time you fuss about how you don’t like a single dish on the table just spare a thought for those whom even three meals a day is a luxury.

We need to remember that every single blessing that we have could be taken away from us at any second. In school we sang a hymn ‘Count your blessings name them one by one’ but I realize that it is impossible to  list out the blessings. We just need to be extremely thankful for everything. You and me, we are very lucky people. We don’t have to think about where the next meal comes from or worry that we have people depending on us. Thanks to one of the greatest mercies God has given us, we live in a reasonably safe place where we don’t have to be scared about bombs being dropped on us. We don’t have to worry about shelter or a plaguing disease. We don’t have to fear poverty and deprivation. Considering that we have it easy, that we have none of these battles to fight, we should be the most thankful people.

Although the little devil inside us is unleashed now I hope we don’t go back to our old ways but that we take away some lesson, no matter how small, from this Ramadan. This Eid let us be thankful for our education, for our wonderful families and amazing friends, for food and peace. Let us be thankful for our lives and for the opportunity to mold it in to a beautiful one.

Eid Mubarak.

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen

The past few days have been a blur. I keep saying everything is happenning fast but really, everything is happenning in LIGHTNING SPEED. It has taken me a while to comprehend it. I seem to have got my head around it but I still cannot believe that it is happening although, I am extremely happy that it is.

I try to keep recollecting what happened these few days but my memory fails me. I don’t seem to have registered everything. Memory is a very fickle thing. I wan to remember everything, the good and the bad. The feel of my new silk saree, the tears that would just not stop, the mouthfulls of sugar that I just wanted to spit out and this werid but good feeling in my gut. I want to remember everything and maybe that is selfish of me. My mind does not have this capacity. I look at pictures and I think “Why was I smiling?”. I can’t seem to remember why the photo warranted that particular expresssion.

This scares me. Now I want to savour every moment, remember every action. I want to store it all in a little cupboard in my head. And when I open it I want to the smell of the garland, the Elie Saab that I sprayed all over my dress. I want to remember why I cried. I want to know why I smiled my widest with certain people and looked morose with others. I want to remember that moment when the photographer asked me if I wanted to hide the sugar. I want to remember the taste of the awful banana milkshake. And I really want to remember the taste of the biriyani but I had so little that it is just impossible.

I am trying to take as many mental photographs as I can. I am trying to remember the feelings and the emotions. I want to collect all these and store it all away in that little cupboard and come back to it in my own sweet time. Reminiscing is a weird feeling. Recollecting the good can make your day so much brighter. But the bad and the bitter should never see the light of day. Reminiscing the bad just brings back all these feelings and I remind myself why I swore never to think about it again. Having a walking, talking reminder does not help. But I’ve become an expert in blocking out the bad, in muting out the constant drone and in blinding out the evil.

So right now is all about collecting. Thoughts, feelings and words to store away in that little cupboard inside my head.

Posted on by Zarine Mohideen · 2 Comments

Don’t Leave Your Dessert In A Desert

There comes a point in life when you turn around and realize that you’ve been carrying extra baggage. Not emotional baggage but that big butt you’ve been lugging around for a long time. You fall on your knees and pray hard, “God, just make that thing disappear!!”. But right after that you drown all your sorrows in a big bar of Toblerone so that kind of cancels out your plea. 
The next morning you decide to put a full stop to your abysmal behavior. “That’s it”, you tell yourself. “No more scarfing down sweets in to this endless pit”. And then you go on a diet till it’s time for the next meal.
I have learnt that crash diets don’t work, fad diets don’t work, the Atkins diet doesn’t work even if all the celebrities are “doing it”, eating five “small” meals a day doesn’t work and depriving yourself of the most important food group – dessert, sure as hell does not work. So I have devised two new kinds of diet plan the “Eat Dessert First” plan aka “I-don’t-care-what-I-eat-but-please-let-me-have-dessert-first” plan and the “One Dessert, Two Spoons” plan.
EAT DESSERT FIRST

This is a very simple plan. All you have to do is follow it literally. Eat dessert first before your main meal. That way your craving is satisfied and you eat only half of your main course. 
Disclaimer : This doesn’t apply if you insist on eating the entire meal even after you’ve had dessert. If you do so then you have a problem.
ONE DESSERT, TWO SPOONS

Again literal translation applies here. Just remember that both the spoons are not for you. You order one portion of dessert and share it with another person. The only problem that this plan presents is that both of you have to agree upon which dessert to order.
Disclaimer : This plan doesn’t apply if you order two different desserts and share both. That’s just being greedy and you deserve to be slapped if you do that, you fatty.
Tiramisu at Tuscana Pizzeria, Nungambakkam

Fried Ice Cream at Benjarong, Alwarpet
If you watched ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ then you will remember the line that Drew Barrymore’s cute ex-boyfriend guy tells that neurotic pixie haired girl in the end – “I’m/You’re the exception”, or something along those lines. Anyway, the same concept applies for dessert. Just like how every rule has an exception, every dessert has an exception. In this case it is ice cream. Ice cream is good. Never share your ice cream. If someone approaches you with his tongue sticking out while you are contemplating which side to attack your ice cream from, then punch him. It’s okay. He deserved it.
Bavarian chocolate ice cream at Baskin Robbins, Kilpauk